Shopping Senses

The old, ugly green carpets are covered with dirt and salt from shoppers dragging their winter boots across the floor, but tis the season.  Half of the lights have burnt out and the owner refuses to replace them, making the store look dark and grungy.  Thankfully there are yellow signs on every rack and table to brighten the store highlighting the sales “50 – 80% off”.  The coat of dust doesn’t exactly attract customers either, but there are a few that dare to enter.

 The store has two entrances, a right and left side, separated by a four-foot wide wall.  The wall is bare except for a few hoodies that hang from it. On the right side of the store is formal wear, consisting of suits, ties, belts, dress shirts, dress pants and vests.  The left side is casual, stalked with hoodies, T-shirts, jeans, and jackets.

With two opposite genres of fashion, the consumer population is diverse. Although it is a mens clothing store, there are clothes appropriate for everyone. There are purple and red fitted hoodies that could be unisex, winter jackets with longer arms for those who are taller, and a variety of fitted jeans. Many women find mens clothes more comfortable so anyone is able to shop at this store.

However the stores conditions are not appropriate. Along with the broken lights, the vacuum doesn’t work and the cleaning products leave gross residue. The mirrors that reflect back to consumers how the product looks are streaked without being properly cleaned. A store is judged primarily on it’s presentation. This is what initially draws consumers into the store, then it is judged on quality and variety of styles.

With a light layer of dust coating the store the smell is of a powerful mold. This is no ordinary mold but almost like if you had left your laundry in the washing machine for a week then opened it up to all of its ripeness. The clothes also obtain this smell as well as the smell of bodily odors as customers try on numerous sizes and styles.

The feel of the materials isn’t pleasant. It feels cheap and itchy. It looks as though

It was rushed when being manufactured with loose threads and uneven seams. It is very awkward when a customer is zipping up their sweatshirt and the zipper breaks or a snap or button falls off. There are many damaged products that are to be sold for full retail price. However this location created a damage wrack, which just added to the inexpensive look of the store. The rack was jammed with all kinds of damaged clothes it made the store feel like an outlet.

The look is amplified with the stores music selection. There are many channels through Sirius XM, the satellite radio. Yet, the store is only allowed to play three channels, none of them are allowed to have lyrics due to the provocative nature of most current pop songs. This really impresses the employees who look as though they would rather like to sleep, cry or die than be working there.

The whole experience of shopping at International Clothiers leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

Alter Ego

People yell in total chaos as the lights begin to dim. Needles are jabbing, scissors are slicing, and young girls are crumbling like the cookies they didn't eat. Weak with hunger, their frail frames provide a service. They’re bodies no longer theirs, having been sold as a product. We are now the property of another. We stand there all lined up neatly, with our perfect hair and makeup. With towering heels and trembling legs, we huddle close together.

Standing there dressed as dolls we are examined for any imperfections. The sweat oozes from my pores forming small beads of sweat around my hairline, but nothing a little powder can't fix. Once approved, we take our positions. I stand at the front of the line, ready to lead the way. My palms are clammy as I close my eyes and take one last long deep breath. When I open them I feel transformed. As if someone else has taken over my body and mind, someone of elegance and confidence. The music starts, and I step out into the blinding spotlight.

I hear the music, I see the crowed, and I feel the adrenaline rushing through my blood. My heart syncs with the beat of the song as I take my first stride. With my head held higher than my shoes, my shoulders back, and hips pushed forward, I know this is the moment I’ve been waiting for. I feel the material flow and brush against my moisturized skin. The sensation is accompanied with thousands of eyes just on me as I strut down the runway. I couldn’t feel more important and alive as I do within that moment.

That moment that took weeks of fittings to ensure the garments had the exact measurements needed. That moment designers have dedicated months and years into their collections, and makeup artists and hairstylists have poured hours of effort into their skills. It takes an astonishing amount of time to make the vision into a reality. A reality that only lasts for a mere thirty seconds.

However, those thirty seconds are magical. Even to my best ability I cannot describe the energy that flows through me during runway shows. To open the show is an honour. I am always privileged to open, and close most shows due to my height. With longer limbs than the typical model, I can carry extravagant creations. I feel like a Goddess gliding across the stage like a piece of art.

The show ends in the blink of an eye. At the end there is nothing left but threads and empty hangers, but I’m left with a sense of accomplishment and pride. I go home and change into my oversized sweatpants and hoodie. I immediately start eating everything in my fridge unless I couldn't wait and stopped for food on my way home. At the end of the night I am exhausted and just want to sleep. I go to wash the pounds of makeup off my face but notice no amount of scrubbing can remove one thing. It's the smile that is rooted deep within and is everlasting.

Entry #1 - Why I am the way I am

I am a tall woman. Now, I wouldn’t necessarily claim that my height defines me, but it has been a major influence throughout my life.

As a child I knew I was going to be a leader, so being tall became my greatest asset. I was competitive in every aspect, and being tall gave me an advantage in sports, and in my independence. I was able to reach the highest shelves on my own, and was able to pick up basketballs with one hand. My age was never questioned because by the age of 13 I was already almost 6 feet tall.  My height allowed me to have conversation with adults while they looked up to me. It gave me a lot of confidence but there were some struggles.

Being long and lean I found there were certain expectations of me set by society. The first one being I should play basketball or volleyball. I did for a brief period of time but was easily bored with the lack of challenges. I decided I would engage in sports that weren’t typically designed for my body type. I was a gymnast for eight years, and played rugby for three. I certainly stood out playing these sports but I felt no need to hide.

That was another factor I noticed, that I was suppose to “hide”, or try to “blend” in with society but I couldn’t. I was deemed unattractive by males as I towered next to them, so I had to discover alternative ways to be more approachable and less intimidating. I used humour as my tool to build myself and reputation, which made me realize not to take words and what people say to seriously. I also realized the power of words and perspective. This helped when I started modelling as I already had thick skin and wasn’t bothered by what other people said.

A model with a sense of humour seemed to be refreshing in the industry. I was told by several professionals it would keep me grounded and it did. Modelling taught me to be kind, and to be a positive role model because you never know who is observing and learning from you. I found modelling to be empowering and offered my knowledge to other girls to help them realize their potential.  As a model I was seen but not heard, that’s why I chose to go into Public Relations and regain my voice.

I’m constantly searching to satisfy my sense of accomplishment. The harder the challenge, the greater the sense of achievement I receive. This also comes from my belief in astrology and karma. I’m not religious in any way so I decided I would believe in myself instead of a higher being. I noticed that many of my theories and personal traits resembled those of my astrological chart. As an Aries it explained my competitive nature and need for leadership. I explored deeper into astrology I found myself using it as a guide to evaluate myself and aid in understanding others. It has opened my eyes and has changed the way I communicate.

I feel as though these are important factors that have helped shape me into the proud person I am today.