Alter Ego

People yell in total chaos as the lights begin to dim. Needles are jabbing, scissors are slicing, and young girls are crumbling like the cookies they didn't eat. Weak with hunger, their frail frames provide a service. They’re bodies no longer theirs, having been sold as a product. We are now the property of another. We stand there all lined up neatly, with our perfect hair and makeup. With towering heels and trembling legs, we huddle close together.

Standing there dressed as dolls we are examined for any imperfections. The sweat oozes from my pores forming small beads of sweat around my hairline, but nothing a little powder can't fix. Once approved, we take our positions. I stand at the front of the line, ready to lead the way. My palms are clammy as I close my eyes and take one last long deep breath. When I open them I feel transformed. As if someone else has taken over my body and mind, someone of elegance and confidence. The music starts, and I step out into the blinding spotlight.

I hear the music, I see the crowed, and I feel the adrenaline rushing through my blood. My heart syncs with the beat of the song as I take my first stride. With my head held higher than my shoes, my shoulders back, and hips pushed forward, I know this is the moment I’ve been waiting for. I feel the material flow and brush against my moisturized skin. The sensation is accompanied with thousands of eyes just on me as I strut down the runway. I couldn’t feel more important and alive as I do within that moment.

That moment that took weeks of fittings to ensure the garments had the exact measurements needed. That moment designers have dedicated months and years into their collections, and makeup artists and hairstylists have poured hours of effort into their skills. It takes an astonishing amount of time to make the vision into a reality. A reality that only lasts for a mere thirty seconds.

However, those thirty seconds are magical. Even to my best ability I cannot describe the energy that flows through me during runway shows. To open the show is an honour. I am always privileged to open, and close most shows due to my height. With longer limbs than the typical model, I can carry extravagant creations. I feel like a Goddess gliding across the stage like a piece of art.

The show ends in the blink of an eye. At the end there is nothing left but threads and empty hangers, but I’m left with a sense of accomplishment and pride. I go home and change into my oversized sweatpants and hoodie. I immediately start eating everything in my fridge unless I couldn't wait and stopped for food on my way home. At the end of the night I am exhausted and just want to sleep. I go to wash the pounds of makeup off my face but notice no amount of scrubbing can remove one thing. It's the smile that is rooted deep within and is everlasting.